up, up, and away.

Somehow, Mondays always seem to arrive a little too quickly for me. I mean, wasn't it just Monday, like...yesterday?
Weekends fly by, that's my problem. Lately, the only time I get to see M is on the weekends, because of our crazy hectic schedules. So of course, the two days I get to spend with him zoom by like no other.

But, enough about my problems. How about those accomplishments?
If nothing else, I have accomplished a full week[day]'s worth of the 30 Day Shred. It was tough, and even after the short time, I wanted to give up. But, I haven't. And, although I was totally feeling the burn [especially with the pushups-- I've battled wrist problems for the last several months] it has been so worth it.
Going into this [30 day shred] I decided not to push myself to do 30 days consecutively; I knew weekends would be beyond crazy for me, so I settled on just weekdays and forcing myself to do 30 days of it that way.
Not to say my weekends aren't active; I'm always on the go.

I haven't weighed myself all week. I don't want to get tied down with numbers, if that makes any sense. I want to feel better about myself. I want to be able to look in the mirror and not just "be okay" with how I look, but to feel truly good.
And, really, I'm getting myself to that point. Of course, it always helps hearing it from others- and I'm lucky enough to have some amazing people in my life who make how they feel about me known.
And that brings me to my biggest accomplishment; I feel good.
For the first time [other than when learning about the pregnancy] in a long time, I truly feel good about myself, and my life. It is such an amazing feeling to experience; I'm loving every second of it, my friends.

My goal for this week is to try and make time for two separate workouts of sorts; perhaps the shred in the morning and another type of workout in the evening.

Ready. Set. And go!

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I was thinking.

M,


It was one of those days, no different than any other- we sat in the barely lit room, watching another movie, which one I really don’t remember.
You looked at me, much like you always do and I tried not to smile, which of course never works.
So, I did. Then, of course you did.
I asked what you were thinking and of course your response was ‘nothing.’ I said I wasn’t thinking anything either.
But really, I was.

I was thinking I like you.
My absolute favorite part of the day is the end, when your arms are wrapped around me. It’s in that moment that everything’s perfect. I forget about everything else and time almost stops.
I was thinking I can see myself with you.
That I want to be with you. You make me smile for absolutely no reason. You make me want to be better, to try harder.
I was thinking it’s scary;
to let go and just trust that it’ll all end good, how I want it to. That the idea of a house in the country with horses is amazing, especially if it’s all with you.

So, yes, I was lying when I said nothing.
Only because really, I was thinking I love you.

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weight, recipes, and more!

I’m a very visual person, not in every case, but certainly in situations involving weight loss. I’ve worked so hard [okay, I’ll admit, not nearly as hard as I should be working] this last month and a half, and the results were, I felt, unnoticeable.
And then, yesterday morning [when I woke up at five thirty, yeah, my thoughts too] I did a wii fit workout to wake up. And bam, 3 pounds down since I first started [Christmas Eve morning] this round of working out. 3 pounds isn’t much, and I can’t visibly notice it, but seeing the three pound difference on the tv screen, it’s quite butterflies-in-the-tummy feeling.

My 30dayshred dvd stopped working on me, so that workout is out the door for the time being. Instead, I’ve been improvising; jumping jacks, sit ups, pushups, all the stuff I’ve never really been a fan of. This morning, before church, the boy made me a deal; for every one I did, he did three. It definitely helped, having a partner working next to me.
My biggest goals, as always, are to work on eating healthier foods. I’m not much of a cook [i.e. I very rarely cook] so usually we turn to quick easy, not so good for you foods. Yummy meals are definitely in my near future; any suggestions, offer them up now!
This is a really lame Mamavation Monday post, but here I am falling asleep.
So instead, I’ll post another Mamavation post sometime throughout the week :)

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[i am] thankful

I recently made a promise; that I would try my hardest to let things “roll off my back” and not get to me like they previously would. Thus far, I’d say I’m doing an excellent job. Some recent issues with the ex/baby daddy have made that difficult, but I’ve made the decision to wash my hands of the drama, sotospeak, and just stay positive.

In the process of staying positive, I’ve come to realize there is so much to be thankful for in my life. I am surrounded by so many amazing people, and on top of the people here, physically, there are all my new sistas, who support me in ways I never thought imaginable. There’s my beautiful daughter, who in so many ways has taught me new things; most importantly what being a mommy really truly feels like [amazing, to put it simply.] My awesome boyfriend, who has shown me what patience and love truly is. Who gives me advice before I’ve asked for it, who listens and holds my hand, who tells me how he feels without “toughening” it up. My parents, who as crazy as they drive me, help me, support me, make me feel better about things I can’t control. My sister, who in so many ways is my best friend, she listens and lets me complain without judging me. My friends, you-reading this- included, for the advice, the hugs, the shoulders, the texts, the jump up and down excitement with me.

Then, there are the material things I’m thankful for:



Strawberry banana smoothies- seven am work/school days suck, especially with a three year old who likes to change her outfit five million times in a ten minute timeframe. Strawberry banana smoothies are a saving grace at 6:45 as we head out the door.


Antibacterial hand sanitizer- the person who created such is truly a genius. I work with kids on a daily basis. Kids who, especially this time of year, have snotty noses, coughs, and all that gross germ spreading stuff. I change diapers several times every hour. Without hand sanitizer, I’d be germ covered and sick all the time.


Music- I have a 30+minute drive to/from school two/three times a week, on top of a 20 minute drive to work. Music makes car rides so much funner, especially when the kid knows the song and sings along.


Family gatherings- Not just my family’s but M’s as well. I love family. I love big family gatherings. It seriously bums me out that I don’t get to see my extended family very often. I love the lunch dates we have. They’re always filled with happiness and tons of laughter.


Weekends with the boy- most of the time, schedule conflicts keep us from spending a lot of time together. By the time I get home, he’s getting ready to head to work. When he gets home and is ready for bed, I’m heading out the door. So workless weekends are definitely something we look forward to.


Reading- I love to read. Especially when it’s just for fun, not because some professor is telling me I have to. I’d read all the dang time if I had the ability.


My job- I love my job. It is, to put it simply, the best job ever. The people I work with are pretty awesome, as well. I work with kids; my days are full of smiles, laughter, and tons of fun. I get paid, not just with money, but by knowing that I am teaching these kids. The looks on their faces when something “clicks” whether it be writing their name, learning a letter, or counting; it’s an amazing feeling.


Sunshine- because without, my life would be so grey, literally. I am a huge fan of summertime, because of the sunshine that comes with it. The way the sunshine feels against my bare skin, it's a feeling I quite enjoy.

And here's my list of today's thankfuls. I'll add plenty more to this list soon enough; like falling asleep next to my favorite boy in the entire world, pregnancy tests, health changes for the positive, weight loss, the fact that pop is no longer a daily necessity for me, oh, and, some huge life changing discoveries. :) yes, I have a lot to be thankful for.

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Mamavation Monday [er, Tuesday?]

A little late, but hey, I'm new to this, and besides better late than never, right? Right.

A friend of mine listed a series of resolutions she had for the new year and one of them was Jillian's 30 Day Shred. I've never been one to make resolutions, but hey, I'll take some healthy changes any day of the year.

A month or so ago, I started doing daily workouts using the Wii Fit program; it's easy, and fun. My three year old does all the exercises next to me, which is always a plus.
And now, I've added in the daily workout from the 30 day shred video.
It's not easy, but totally worth it.

The gym scene has never really worked for me. I don't have the time, between school, work, and the kiddo. Getting someone to watch her while I take time for myself at the gym just isn't happening, so instead, the wii points me in the right direction. Either she does the exercises with me, or I do it all once she's in bed.

Another "goal" I have is to start eating healthier. Not really go on a "diet," I just want to eat what's good for me --more fruits, veggies, and eventually be able to be pop free.

Mostly, I want to feel good about myself.
One day at a time.

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